I am continually annoyed by people who don’t know how the carpool line at school operates; there are people who don’t pull forward when the line moves, enter from the wrong side of the street, don’t look before they pull away, or get impatient when I give the right-of-way to pedestrians. Every day, my heart is full of disgust and disdain for those people who can’t handle the most basic of tasks or show a modicum of courtesy or civility.
But I’m tired of grinding my teeth, clenching my stomach, and furrowing my brow. I’m tired of being disgusted. I have options. I could take it upon myself to kindly instruct people on how to properly drop off their children at school. This would be a very concrete way of loving my neighbor, and also a very intrusive and meddling way to bother a lot of people that I will still see every school day, at the same school where my wife works as a teacher.
This is not what Jesus would do – I think Jesus would focus less on telling people that they are bad at the most basic type of driving and focus more on relationship building. This would involve me getting to know all of the bad drivers, which is only slightly more appealing than lecturing them all at once…
Or I could show them grace, give them the benefit of the doubt, and stop getting angry at events that are inconsequential. No one is doing anything dangerous; they are just being rude. Maybe they don’t know they are doing it, or they have a lot on their mind, or maybe they don’t know that they are terrible drivers. I should still give them grace, not so much for their sake, as they don’t need grace from me when Jesus is giving it freely to all takers. I need to give grace to others for me – for my soul.
I need to soften my heart, let go of anger and derision, and recognize the other drivers as children of God: they are loved, wanted, and saved by God. I forget to do this, as the mundanity of day-to-day tasks clouds my vision. But we all need grace, and we are all better people when we give grace; more relaxed, in tune with the world, and more loving. And it may just be that I’ve made some mistakes in the carpool lane, causing someone to later complain to their spouse that a handsome priest in a sweet minivan was oblivious to his surroundings and was consequently quite rude. Maybe…
The Rev. Jason Shelby
Rector
jason.shelby@stfrancispalosverdes.org