From Jesus’ Touch to Our Hello: Building Relationships That Heal
Jesus taught us to love one another as we are loved and as we wish to be loved. When Jesus wasn’t praying by himself in the pre-dawn morning or asleep on the cushion, he was constantly forming relationships with the people he met.
When the woman touched the hem of his robe and was healed, he could have kept walking. Instead, he stopped and said, “Who touched me?” His disciples were incredulous. How could he say such a thing when people surrounded them? But he wasn’t asking to find out who it was, because of course he knew who touched him – he’s Jesus. It was an invitation to conversation – to a relationship – to communion.
For Jesus, it was a 30-second encounter, but for the woman he cured it was a pivotal moment in her life, one she remembered and spoke about forever. I imagine her family grew tired of her saying, “Did I ever tell you about the time I touched the master’s robe?” And her family replying, “Yes, Aunt Rebecca, a bazillion times!”
I’ve often preached and written about striking up conversations with people at the Costco gas pumps, but it is hard for me to take my own advice. I genuinely want to do this, and I eventually will. Over time, it will become second nature, and I’ll embarrass my kids because I’m the weirdo saying hello to strangers wherever I go (among the other multiple ways I’ll embarrass them).
We are taught to be in relationship with one another – to be in communion with each other, in a community. The first step to this is making a simple connection and acknowledging that another person exists. Why is this so difficult for me? There are two things: one, the possibility that I will be ignored or rebuffed, and on the opposite side, that someone will try to pull me into their messy life, when I have more than enough mess of my own.
But do I like it when strangers say hello to me? Absolutely! So, in loving my neighbor as myself, saying hello to a person I don’t know is a very small thing I can do to help my brethren in Christ feel seen. Which I believe is what we all want: to feel seen, wanted, and loved.
As a society, we acknowledge that the lack of connection in our lives is making us depressed, anxious, and angry, but we won’t make even the smallest move to change it. When we say hello to a person, we aren’t creating a life-long friendship; we’re simply establishing that they exist and that we acknowledge their existence.
My default mode is to have my guard up, so that when a stranger says hello, I immediately think to myself, “Great, what do they want?” So even though I like it when strangers say hello, I’m also wary of what may follow. It’s ok to be wary – and when I’m wary, I do well to remember to ask Jesus for help.
We are meant to be connected—none of us is an island unto ourselves. And while there is only one Jesus, we never know when 30 seconds of our life could change another’s life for the better, forever.
—Fr. Jason